What is Sex / Pornography Addiction

Sex and pornography addiction is one of the hardest things to talk about. My aim here is to provide some answers to common questions around "What is sex and porn addiction, how common is it, do I have a problem and where can I get help?"

What is Sex Addiction?

Sex addiction commonly refers to an out-of-control relationship with sexual behaviours, thoughts and fantasies that are having an adverse impact on your life. It is something you engage with in spite of the harm that it is causing to you, your relationships, mental or physical health, finances or career. It is something you have tried, and failed, to stop many, many times. Even when you are not engaged with the sexual behaviours, you may find yourself obsessing about them, compulsively thinking about them and planning your next thing. You may find that specific situations, people, events or feelings trigger your sexual behaviour cycles. You may feel like it is getting worse.

Is Sex Addiction a recognized condition?

Sex addiction is the commonly used term. Over the years, this has been referred to in research literature as hypersexuality, sexual compulsivity, sexual impulsivity, problematic sexual behaviour, problematic pornography use or compulsive sexual behaviour. In recent years, the International Classification of Disease run by the WHO have recognized Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder (CSBD). According to the ICD-11, what in lay terms is referred to as sex addiction can be defined as:

“Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder is characterised by a persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviour. Symptoms may include repetitive sexual activities becoming a central focus of the person’s life to the point of neglecting health and personal care or other interests, activities and responsibilities; numerous unsuccessful efforts to significantly reduce repetitive sexual behaviour; and continued repetitive sexual behaviour despite adverse consequences or deriving little or no satisfaction from it. The pattern of failure to control intense, sexual impulses or urges and resulting repetitive sexual behaviour is manifested over an extended period of time (e.g., 6 months or more), and causes marked distress or significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. Distress that is entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges, or behaviours is not sufficient to meet this requirement.”

As of November 2023 (when this blog was written), CSBD currently sits among the ICD’s cluster of Impulse Control Disorders. Those working and researching the field of sexual addictions fully expect that CSBD will be soon recognised as an behavioural addiction much like gaming or gambling for instance.

How Common is Sex Addiction?

If you feel you are struggling, the good news is that you are not alone. Here are some headlines from research published in 2023 into the prevalence of CSBD. This research surveyed over 82,000 people from 42 countries and suggests:

• About 4.84% of adults worldwide may be struggling with sexual addictions.

• The numbers varied from country to country; in the UK it is suggested 4.69% of young people and adults have a problem in this area.

• The data suggests that sex addiction is most present among the sexual minorities (LGBTQI+ populations) followed by heterosexual men.

• CSBD is least present in heterosexual women.

If you are really interested in the data then check out the sex addiction paper which was published by the Journal of Behavioral Addictions in 2023.

Am I a Sex Addict?

If you are concerned about your sexual behaviours then you can access this online sex addiction assessment questionnaire. It uses a validated screening measure for assessing CSBD, it is free and anonymous. Only you will be shown your score and can decide what to do with it.

While there are several tools that can help you figure out the answer to that question, at the end of the day only you can decide if you are struggling with sexual addiction or not. According to research, some of the things you may want to consider include the amount of pornography you are viewing, the amount of masturbation you engage in, the amount of sex you engage in with casual partners as well as the number of casual sexual partners you have. You may also consider if you are enjoying the sex you are having, whether this building your self esteem or leading to a life of secrecy, shame and sexual preoccupation.

It is about your relationship and potential dependencies on the sex you are engaged in or thinking about.

I think I have a Problem, What Next?

If you think you have a problem with sex and pornography then there is help and support available. Some of the options you may wish to consider include:

• Self Help Support group: Finding a support group can be a life-saver for some. One of the best known support groups for sex addiction are the 12-step "anonymous" fellowship groups. They are anonymous, safe and supportive places to seek help, and groups meet in person or online via zoom. You can find people to talk to when times get tough and you need to phone a friend (often referred to as outreach calls) and you can find a sponsor to help you work through the 12 steps. Some popular ones in the UK are: Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLA) and Sexaholics Anonymous (SA).

• Professional Recovery Group Courses: Unlike the self-help groups, these are run by therapists who have specific training in working with sex and pornography addictions and running recovery groups. They are not cheap but can be a very helpful way of starting your recovery and, when run well, include the latest evidence and research. Some are run online, others are residential. One such in the UK is the Hall Recovery Course which is overseen by Dr Paula Hall, one of the leading experts in this field. You can find a list of these groups in the UK on the ATSAC website.

• Individual Counselling: Many people find individual counselling for sex and pornography addiction helpful. However, it is important to ensure that your therapist has a good understanding of this area as many counsellors will say they work with addictions but may not have the specialist training. A good place to find a qualified sex addiction therapist in the UK is the ATSAC directory. All the therapists listed there will have the appropriate training (yes, I am listed on the ATSAC directory).

I hope this article has helped you with some of the questions around sex and pornography addictions and where you might find help.